Why I Wear Falsies (The Eyelash Kind) and How You Can Benefit from My Mistakes or The Ultimate Guide to Applying False Eyelashes

There have been many close calls, or just calls, between a falsie and I. But they make your eyes look amazing. And by your eyes, I mean my eyes. But you can have this too. Falsies can be dangerous and intimidating. Let me teach you the ways. Then, I’ll teach you how to avoid the ways.

a) Dangerous: As in, involving glue and your eye. When you put glue that close to your eye, it can fall into your eye and cause damage. One Halloween, falsie glue scratched my eye and I was on eye antibiotics for weeks. Did you know that they make antibiotics for your eye? It should say this on the side of the falsie goo.

b) Intimidating: See dangerous. Also, not many people know how to apply a falsie to their friend’s eye, let alone their own.

So, tools for avoiding getting glue in your eye:

a) Don’t wear falsies, stupid. But we all know that’s simply not an option. I’m picking up a new habit of wearing them every time I go out.

b) Drop money on decent falsies. Get them from the MAC counter. They look better and are less likely to get messed up. UPDATE (5/5): Also purchase your glue at the MAC counter. Amazing glue.

c) If you buy the cheap falsies (don’t), only wear them once. Expensive falsies you may use multiple times, but use tweezers and the pads of your fingers to remove the excess dried goo on the falsie.

d) If you misplace (meaning – it doesn’t look good) your falsie the first time, don’t try to rework it and rework it and then remove it from your eye and then apply it to your eye again. Accept your mistake immediately, remove the falsie and try again. And always remove excess glue from the falsie before reapplying. Apply your eye makeup first so it’s not as much of a downer if you mess up so much that you then have to wash your face.

e) FEAR THE GLUE. Seriously. Only apply a thin line to your falsie, but don’t make it so thin that it won’t stick. Be judicious. You’re smart – I know you can figure this part out.

Tools for putting on falsies by yourself – which, although it may seem like a mistake, is better than having someone else apply your falsies – you know your eye best. Unless the other person is a drag queen. In which case, cede control.

a) Clip the inner corners of the falsie – it will likely be too long for your eyelid, and the closer the glue is to your tear duct, the worse off you are.

b) Sit Indian-style on the floor in front of a mirror. Prepare your falsie – apply a thin line of glue. Wait thirty seconds for glue to get sticky.

c) Tilt your head back slightly. Grab your falsie from the top of the lashes and slowly lower it directly onto your eyelid – think, “Here comes the airplane!”

d) THE SECRET TRICK. Prepare a bobby pin. Secure both ends of the falsie as well as you can using your fingertips. The falsie goo is forgiving in the beginning. Using the bobby pin, slowly move along the entire edge of the falsie in an action where it appears as if you are poking your eye. Focus on the tips of the falsie. Your eye is resilient. Don’t be afraid to actually poke.


a) Having a panic attack. It will all be fine. Practice makes perfect. Breathe.

b) Applying the falsie to your eyelash instead of your eyelid.

c) Applying the falsie too high up on your eyelid (this is where the bobby pin comes in handy – cement that thing right along your lash line).

YOU CAN DO THIS. Ladies have been doing this for decades. Imagine what the glue was like in the 50s. Well, maybe it’s the same glue.

I’m also available for phone and in person consultation.

Trust and believe,



2 responses to “Why I Wear Falsies (The Eyelash Kind) and How You Can Benefit from My Mistakes or The Ultimate Guide to Applying False Eyelashes”

  1. cheyenna says :

    i cant even get contacts into my eyes, but i am deeply glad for this post anyway.

  2. anya golda says :

    overall great advice! my one comment is regarding applying false eyelashes to the eye lead vs the eyelash (and this comes from numerous burlesque and pin-up workshops taught by the likes of the ‘World Famous *Bob* and Bettina May). due to the bend/arch in the false eyelash if you apply it to your eye lead it will just push down on your natural eyelash creating this ‘sleepy’ look. so instead try applying it on top of your eye lash right where it meets your eye lead. that way you will get that wide awake “who me?!” pin-up look! 😉

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