don’t do it: heeled utility boots

When Tommy Hilfiger showed these god awful high heeled duck boots in February’s Fall/Winter runway show I thought: “thank god that’s not a trend anyone will pick up on!”

Alas. I was wrong. But I can find redemption in the fact that I’ve never once seen an actual person on the street wearing them. Because why would you?

Let me list the ways I hate these shoes:

  1. Tommy Hilfiger? We are letting TOMMY HILFIGER be a trendsetter? How could the fashion gods have let this happen. Where is Anna Wintour when we need her?
  2. Nonsensical. Think about it: we are taking utility shoes and turning them into high fashion. What’s wrong with that? Well, we allow utility shoes to exist because they are ugly, but really really useful. Except when you put a four inch heel on a utility shoe (not to mention a peep-toe), it stops being useful. Which just leaves it ugly.
  3. LL Bean. You’ve hurt their feelings.
  4. What on earth are you going to wear with them? Ohhhh… (might need to come up with a Polyvore for that)
  5. Emma got a pair of super cute flat boy’s duck boots at Value Village under $10. HA!
  6. The moment of truth: almost all of these suckers are on sale in various places. So if you must have a pair of Tory Burch’s ‘Howard Wedge Kiltie Lace-up Bootie’ (that’s their real name) because they are “your personal utility vehicle – tough lugged sole and work boot elements contrast with ladylike oxford kilt and high heel” (don’t get me started), you can find them on sale Bergdorf’s, Saks & Neiman Marcus.

Oh you silly fancy buyers. Your weapons cannot defeat us. We will not fall for your ugly utility booties.

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One response to “don’t do it: heeled utility boots”

  1. sarah says :

    thank you for thinking of llbean’s feelings. seriously.

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