fashion darwinism: J Brand Houlihan pants

‘People’ have been going nuts over these J Brand cargo pants for a while now. I say ‘people’ because that mainly means a select group of fashion editors and some marginally tasteful celebs (Leighton Meester). But here’s the thing: these are the most unflattering pants of all time. In fact, if you have hips or an ounce of cellulite anywhere (and certainly not in several locations), these will make you look tragically like Moby Dick. To condense the list of everyone who should not wear these pants:

  • Anyone who is not named Gisele Bundchen

A cargo pocket on your upper thigh? REALLY? Note to designers… never put anything with any bulk to it on my thigh or bottom parts. Oy. I know that Vogue says yes, but to me its a clear no.

Oh – and the best part – I could be paying $231 for the privilege of looking like I tries to shimmy into my little brothers cast off cargo pants. Yikes.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: